Ask Grikli: The Gobo with the Gargantuan Voice

Back with another set of problems fixed by the wonderful master of the monk Grikli. The knowledge and wisdom of this gobbo is beyond imagination!

Ask Grikli: The Gobo with the Gargantuan Voice

Hi again, Grikli the goblin monk is here to answer all of your questions with her really good advice that has definitely been checked over by a really important editor type person. Yes, that's definitely what happens and they definitely didn't sit me down with a stack of paper and just walk away telling me to do whatever I wanted as long as it kept me busy and away from the visiting diplomat who was definitely giving off bad vibes. Okay, on to your questions:


Dear Grikli,

I recently encountered a group of travelers claiming to be members of the Firebrands, a radical splinter group of the Pathfinder Society. They accused me of harboring a dangerous artifact and threatened to take it by force if necessary. I don't actually possess any such item, but I'm worried about their potential for violence. Should I report this incident to the Pathfinder Society or the local authorities?

– Pathfinder Problems

Dear Pathfinder Problems,

Are you a totally cool monk like me and can single-handedly fight them all with your awesome fiery fists of fury? If so, then you can definitely just give them punches to the face and tell them to go away and that you don't have the thingie they think you have. If not, maybe you probably should contact the actual Pathfinder peoples and tell them to help you or maybe you have an awesomely cool group of adventurers in your town with a cool name like the Fightingest Fighters Ever or the Amazing Punching Squad or something and ask them to help. Just probably maybe hide or something until they show up unless you are a cool monk, then like kick them all in the face.


Dear Grikli,

My halfling friend has an insatiable sweet tooth, and his latest craving is for the rare and exotic candied basilisk eggs found only in the Darklands. I've tried to explain that consuming such delicacies could turn him to stone, but he remains undeterred. Short of tying him up, how can I prevent him from embarking on this potentially petrifying culinary adventure?

– Concerned Companion

Dear Concerned,

That sounds really tasty and crunchy. I like crunchy things. I guess if you don't want him to potentially get all stoneyfied and stuff you could suggest to him other tasty treats to eat and maybe bring him options or something. Like redirect his attention or something, I think I heard the other monks talking about doing that for someone and they seemed to think it worked really well, but I don't know for sure, but it probably would be worth a try. Also, where could one possibly buy these candied eggs in the Darklands? Just curious so myself and my readers definitely know what shop to avoid to not get tasty candied basilisk eggs. I look forward to your next letter.

EVERY THURSDAY

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